And that's the question I am throwing out there. It seems that all the posts out there in the blogging world talk about how much they love being with their kids, how cute and sweet their kids are, and how much they love being a mom. I am just not feeling that right now. And how did I go from someone who would give anything to just get pregnant to a mom that doesn't want to be around her kids? Really, how does that happen?
So instead of judging me because of the reality of my feelings give me some ideas to make me a better mom. I would love to wake up in the mornings to happy children, sunshine, and rainbows. Is that too much to ask? I am sure most of you are thinking stop whining, but its my blog and I'll whine if I want to. Sometimes you just need to.
And as to not end this downer post on a downer note, here is our attempt at decorating our pumpkins (which we got from Luke and Kim's pumpkin patch).
They seem like such good kids. ;)
13 comments:
Um...I'm pretty sure you're expressing every mother's deepest darkest thoughts. I feel that way all the time and I have ONE child! You are doing a terrific job, Amy. Your kids are darling and they love you. But of course they're still going to be kids acting like kids!
And my guess as to why the rest of us moms only post about the cute, sweet things that our kids do is to try to convince ourselves that they aren't as cranky and whiny and grumpy and tiring as they really are. :)
Oh Amy! I think we all have our downer days with our kids... yours is just multiplied by 5. But at the end of the day we do still love them... somedays. ;) I look up to you so much as a mom. The fact that you have made it this far is amazing. And yet you still have a clean house? I dont get that! And you still do funner stuff than I do with my kids... whats my excuse?
First of all Amy, no one in their right mind should ever judge you. You have 5 kids 4 of which are twins. I have no idea how you even get them and yourself all dressed and showered every morning.
But I do know that EVERY mom beats themselves up at night for things that happened during the day. We all cirtize ourselves too much. And it's easy when we're on the computer posting pictures of kids to just talk about the good. But we all lose our temper and say and do things we shouldn't.
You're a great mom!! Don't put yourself down. Just know you're not alone and we all do it.
I also love that you're so honest. It's refreshing! Keep up the posts. I love reading them.
This is all so normal, dear. You just have it multiplied by 5! I don't know that I can help you too much, being the mother of 1 child, but I did have siblings growing up and I think the best thing a mom can do is LESS. I think it seems strange but it's the simple things that make life fun. You do wonderful activities with your children but I wonder if you are running yourself ragged with all that you have going on. I'm not sure. Only you know if this is part of the issue. My funnest days with Kate are when we have no plan, nothing on the calendar, and we just be silly and take it slow. Dancing to music, laying in bed, telling silly stories, or doing goofy art projects together. When I have places to be and things to do, I'm more impatient and that's when I get ornery. But I don't judge you for having a moment or two when you're really sick of your job as a mom-it's hard to always have that loving feeling. Why do you think I'm always saying how amazing you are or "However do you do it?" type comments. What you are engaged in is huge and hard but I know you can do it. Just breathe and see if you can simplify things a little. Less is more. It doesn't have to be perfect. My mom had 4 kids (not as close together as you, though) and I remember her always being so calm and she never yelled and I think it was because she just let so much go. You can do this! Bless you, Amy. They are good kids and you are a good mom. Maybe you could write on a paper your three favorite things about each child and make a goal to tell them those things more today and see if that helps you through.
You've gotten some really good feedback on here and I agree with all of these comments! We all like to post the happy stuff on our blogs but the reality is that we all have these same things going on in our homes! I especially liked the first comment. I've said it before and I'll say it again... you're an awesome mom Amy and I'd never be able to keep up with you!!
You won't see much "love my kids, cute, sweet, perfect mom" posts from me. ;) You're amazing, Amy, and you have a full load. More than most moms ever have to deal with. I only have 3, they're not toddlers anymore, so you'd think I could handle it all better. Would it make you feel better if you knew I lost my voice the other night yelling at my boys because they wouldn't LISTEN? ;)
Hugs... we'll make it through the mom thing, and hope our kids make it through too. Hang on to those sweet moments... even if they are few and far between.
p.s. I have a cousin who hasn't been able to get pregnant yet, and she throws a major guilt trip rant if I ever even say something like I'd like a minute to myself away from kids, or my boys are driving me nuts. (At least you HAVE kids... I'd give anything to have those problems, I can't WAIT to have ornery teenagers, etc. etc.) Anyway, my point is, YES, we are grateful to have kids, but I don't think we need to feel guilty if we have to express frustration sometimes. Being a mom is hard... we don't need to be pretending it's all rainbows and sunshine all the time.
I was just telling my friend yesterday how sick I am of my kids always fighting and driving me pretty much stinkin' crazy!!! I wish everyday that I'll wake up in a good mood and that all will be perfect with the kids...doesn't happen.
My advice? Well, since you asked for it...don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing a great job with the kids and this is just a hard time of life. The kids won't die if they're not entertained every minute of the day and they won't have permanent psychological scars from you yelling at them and putting them in time out!
Hang in there...I'm sorry it's so hard.
I think the reason we all talk about the sweet moments with our kids is so that we remember them since most of all of our lives consist of time-outs, disciplining, losing our temper, feeling guilty about now doing this, that or the other, etc., etc. I don't think any mom who is honest with herself would ever judge you for being honest about life as a mom - because we all relate. And none of us have 5 kids within 2 1/2 years of each other! I was just telling Brian last night that I don't know how I'm going to do three kids; I'm already so grouchy with just the two. Heaven bless you for all you do with your kids. I think you're an amazing mom - and I mean that sincerely. Wish I had any great tips. I don't. I'm still trying to figure it all out myself.
Thanks for being honest. I needed the validation today.
xo
Amy...you are such a cute mom! What mom doesn't feel like that at some point! I promise it gets easier! Wait til your boys go to first grade! It's heaven!
I hope you don't care that I just linked this post on my blog . . .
Oh boy. When you have it all figured out, will you PLEASE send all your wisdom my way? I know I say this a million times, but I can't believe all you do -- all day, every day. Wow. Impressive hardly seems sufficient. You and Trent certainly have your work cut out and you seem to do it so well. Venting/ranting is 100% permitted and probably needed. You of all people get a pass for venting about being tired.
I have no words of wisdom for you because everything I know I've learned from you and I thought that was a pretty dang good reference.
In the meantime, will you stop whining already...
P.s.
You know I'm kiding about the whining, right? Whine all you want. I won't judge.
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